Bittersweet Mayhem
by Writing is Necessary
Summary: It was a bittersweet feeling, and Gin couldn't help but compare the only two men he ever cared. AizenxGin; GinxKira. Yaoi


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach or any Bleach character!

**Warnings: **Yaoi – hard sex, angst, strong language.

**Special Note:** This is my Secret Aarin Santa gift for the lovely **ExtinctionOfReality. **

**A/N:** This is not beta-ed yet. I apologize for any mistakes. Enjoy =)

* * *

**Bittersweet Mayhem**

Sometimes he wondered if he made the right decision. He wondered if his choice was the best one... Of course it was... he knew that. He knew that there was no alternative for something he planned for over a century. But that, didn't make him stop thinking – What if he chose not to follow Aizen? What if he decided to stay _home _with his beautiful _lover_?

Gin thought it was interesting how faith could be cruel in desperate moments to desperate people. He was, indeed, a desperate person, fulfilling his role perfectly at the Sanbantai. He understood despair with his whole skin, although in the others eyes he was probably the one to bring despair. Still, no one knew the truth behind him, behind his smile, behind his slitted eyes.

Rangiku tried. She tried to get inside his thick protective walls, she knew something wasn't right with him, but truth to be told, when wasn't something right with him? She tried and failed, and eventually gave up, knowing reaching him was impossible. Gin was in a different level from her, so far she was never going to reach him.

That's what people would do to him, they would try, and then give up when things became too complicated.

Except for two men.

_His angel and his demon_.

His _angel_, so delicate, never left him once. _He_ would always take care of Gin, no matter how much of a mess he had to fix. _He_ would let him do anything his Taichou wanted. Gin could touch that thin waist, that _he_ wouldn't move away, he could _tenderly_ put his hair behind his ear, that _he_ would let him. He could part those pink lips and ravish that mouth, and _he_ would let him; he could open those legs and push his way inside roughly in that tight heat, that _he_ would let. Even if it hurt, his angel would let him do whatever he wanted, and never showed a hint of regret.

Gin remembered his blond _lover_ – if he could be called like that, he wasn't his lover anymore, maybe he never was at all, - as he worked his way down of his _demon_'s stomach.

The skin was so perfectly toned, he could trace with his long fingers every single muscle. This man wasn't a mere demon, he was the devil himself, with a body of a deity. The skin was slightly tanned, strong and thick, making him so masculine. A hand grabbed his silver hair, and push him down, to the white hakama.

"Do it."

It wasn't a request, it was an order, but that man could easily make it look like he was asking for it. Gin never denied him, he wondered for a moment what would happen if he said no...

Teasingly and slowly, he untied the sash from the hakama. Aizen could have ordered him, but things would go in Gin's way and pace.

Taking the hakama off, Gin leaned to the bulge underneath the fundoshi, he couldn't help but smell it and give a small suck through the fabric. By now his Izuru would be moaning sweetly and shivering , but Aizen didn't. He never moaned, except when he came, and it wasn't a loud moan either, it was just a little sound coming from his throat, a mixture of a gasp with relief.

Gin sucked a bit harder, wetting the white fabric with his own saliva and pre-cum. This man could be different from Izuru vocally, but against Gin's mouth he stood no chance, their cocks would react the same way.

He undid the fundoshi, freeing the hard cock in front of him, big and red with need, it was bigger than Izuru's. Not that the blond's was small, it wasn't, his Izuru was perfect. But Izuru's cock was thinner and pinker, it was like sucking a delicious piece of candy. Sucking Aizen was more difficult but equally good, it just took a bit of extra effort.

Gin licked from base to tip, earning a throb underneath his tongue. He grabbed the member and gave a small lick at the tip and looked up at Aizen's face, who was watching him smirking, leaning against the white pillows.

Gin slid his half-naked body between the brunet's legs, never leaving his tongue from that amazing cock. He played with the tip, circling his tongue in the sensitive area. Closing his mouth around it, he gave a suck. Again, and again. More pre-cum came out, Aizen coul be suppressing his moans and maintain his unfazed expression, but his body betrayed him greatly.

He put the whole member in his mouth, sucking slowly. Saliva dripping as he moved his head up and down, up and down, up and down. The slurping sounds were the only thing that could be heard in that room. By now, his Izuru would be moaning asking for more, like a woman in a dirty movie. He would come in just a couple of minutes, but again Aizen wouldn't. Aizen needed more. Gin swallowed the member, deep throating him. He didn't like to do that, it was uncomfortable to have something so big choking him. When it was with his blond lover, it was different, he could do it again and again, and receive the most seductive moans in return.

He swallowed him whole again, and then looked up. Aizen was still smirking but his eyes were darker, full of lust. Gin took it out of his mouth and licked until the base, sucking gently the balls.

And this was one of the greatest differences between his angel and his devil. Now he would keep going down, on his angel, he would part those milky white legs wide open letting that little pink hole in sight. Izuru would blush adorably even more, and mumble things like "Please don't stare". Aizen on the other hand didn't permit that, he couldn't go farther, not even a finger. It was his way of showing who was the real dominant here. Not only in sex, but everything.

It was in those times, Gin would wonder what if stayed with Izuru? What if he continued to be his Taichou and kept fucking him every night? Izuru had told him something once that made perfect sense now, "Living in the past is the same as not living at all". He was so smart, Gin wondered how come he never saw the betrayal coming.

"What are you thinking, Gin?"

Aizen's words were soft and articulated. He wasn't being harsh, just curious. Gin smiled, realizing now, he stopped smiling when he was thinking.

"I was thinkin' how can this fit on me," he said smiling even more. Aizen chuckled.

"You are thinking about it only now? After so many times it has been inside you?"

"That's 'cuz every time it seems bigger, than it was before."

Gin's eyes moved down to the big cock, he knew Aizen saw through his lie, but he would never tell him the truth. He would never tell him he was still thinking about Izuru. Aizen wouldn't be mad at him, he never was; but he would be mad at Izuru, and only God knows what he could do to _his _poor sweet little blond.

"Come here," Aizen _asked _and gestured with his hand.

He obeyed crawling up, until he was face to face with that man. Aizen's eyes were unreadable as always, but Gin liked them that way, it was fun to try to decipher them. With his Izuru he would-

"Do you love me?" Gin's thoughts were broken once again. Aizen gently cupped his face. No matter what, those hands were so comforting in a twisted way. Gin never feared being killed by them - he wasn't afraid to die – and he liked how big they were, how possessive they were. He leaned against the hand.

"Of course, I love ya," Gin replied. "Always have."

Aizen smirked satisfied, his hand cupping Gin's face moved to the back of his head, fingers entangling in the silver hair. Roughly he pulled Gin down in a fierce kiss.

It was a bittersweet feeling. The kiss was powerful, and tasted like heaven. Gin couldn't resist. He let his own will fly away, as he gave in. His hands held Aizen's face, and the other's free hand grabbed his ass lying Gin down on top of him. Their naked bodies glued together. Tongues dancing senseless and Gin felt himself losing in his mind.

These were the only times he could feel like he was himself. He didn't have to lie and pretend he liked sex, because he liked it. Aizen was the best he could have. He knew how his body worked, and even if he was known to be a selfish man, he would always please Gin, always. Sometimes, Gin wondered if that man actually loved him, but of course he didn't. Gin was only a pawn in his plan; saying Aizen loved him was the same as saying Izuru hated him – a lie. Though Izuru probably hated him now...

Gin could feel fingers curiously wandering nearby his entrance. He felt the excitement starting to burn inside him.

They stopped kissing, and his _demon_'s expression strangely changed.

Suddenly, the silver-haired man felt his body being constricted, barely able to breathe. His usually slitted eyes, opened in terror as he watched the man before him crushing him with his reiatsu.

He tried to move, but it was impossible. The reiatsu was too strong for him to fight back. He felt his body being moved to the side, his stomach against the white sheets.

Gin tried to calm down, to breathe, to think, to speak, but all in vain. The reiatsu felt like he was buried underneath tons of steel.

Aizen pulled his ass up, Gin's legs were shaking. Why was he doing this? Was he going to kill him? Did Aizen found out what he intended to do?

The reiatsu stopped making Gin gasp, his hips held in place by those hand he didn't feared minutes ago.

Aizen reached his head from behind and yanked him by his hair.

"Do you still love me?"

What a fucked up, twisted guy. So this was his game...

"Yeah."

"Even knowing I can kill you so easily?"

Gin gently smiled.

"Yeah, always."

"Good," Aizen said entering him in one thrust.

Gin moaned in pain. That hurt more than anything he ever felt. There was no way that pain was normal. The lack of lubrication and the forceful push was enough for him to start bleeding. Aizen pulled back and thrusted again with same grip. Too much friction, too much pain... Why was Aizen doing this?

"It hurts like this, doesn't it?" Aizen spoke.

"Y-Yeah..." Gin tried to show his discomfort. Hell, if he had known how much his body would hurt he would had gone easier on Izuru. His blond never complained, not even when his milky legs were covered in red.

"We should fix that," Aizen said leaning forward to grab something underneath the pillow. As he did so, he completely sheathed himself inside Gin, making him shudder.

Gin tried to breathe deeply to calm the pain, as he watched Aizen's hand disappear underneath the pillow.

'_Should I tell 'im the lube ain't there- Wait a minute...'_

That didn't look like lube. Aizen took off a small double-edged dagger. Cyan eyes widen and then dropped in defeat. It seemed Aizen had other plans.

The brunet pulled out and sat as he watched the sight in front of him. A thin line of blood dripping. He pressed his fingers at red entrance making the other man moan lowly in pain. It stung.

Aizen took his blood stained fingers to his mouth and licked. The silver-haired man looked behind at him, and felt jealous. That would be the kind of thing he would do to Izuru. Pampering him like that whenever he saw blood, and oh god, how much his blond's blood taste good. Innocent, sad and sweet.

He tried to get up on his knees and leaned against Aizen, sitting on his lap. Grabbing those, now cleaned, fingers he put them in his mouth sucking them. He knew the other loved that. And Aizen watched.

"Why are ya mad?" Gin asked nibbling the top of his fingers.

Aizen tilted his head slightly.

"Who said I was mad?"

"Ya're being kinda mean to me."

"Am I?"

Gin didn't reply. Aizen was acting weird and playing mind games.

"Gin," he started. "The only thing I ask from you is loyalty. Are you loyal to me?"

"'Course I am! Are ya feelin' needy today? Ya know I love ya, and ya know I'm loyal. I've always been!" Gin smiled.

"Have you?" This was intriguing... why was Aizen asking all these questions. He was always so sure of himself, why was he doubting him?

"I have," Gin replied still smiling that smile that he got so used to pretend, everything was fine.

"The prove it to me."

What? How?

"How?"

Aizen only smiled and looked back. "Ulquiorra," he simply said. Gin didn't look back. He was still sitting in Aizen's legs, his back in his chest. He heard footsteps and looked at his side, his heart froze.

Ulquiorra was against the wall, holding his beautiful blond who was blindfolded, gagged and with his hands tied behind his back. Gin couldn't say anything. He just stared at his _former _lover.

"He was caught when he reached Las Noches. It seems he was looking for you," Aizen said amused.

Looking for him? Izuru went after him?

When Aizen spoke, the blond raised his head towards the voice. Did he know Gin was there too? Suddenly, the former Third Division Taichou noticed his situation. Izuru was about to see him with another man, naked. He would break like a porcelain doll.

"You have nothing to say, Gin?"

Gin looked at Aizen, then at Kira.

'Sorry, Izuru'

"Just surprised. Wasn't expecting o see Izuru."

The blond's posture changed completely when he heard Gin's voice.

"Take off his blindfold," Aizen ordered and Ulquiorra obeyed.

Blue eyes blinked a couple of times before looking what was in front of them, and then they widen in horror, pure horror.

Gin felt truly bad for the first time in his life. He had left the blond, betrayed him to be with someone who thought he loved him... only if both of them knew the truth, that it was the opposite. That he left the one and only man he loved to betray the one he was with now. Gin had made everything to make sure Izuru would never found out that he and Aizen were fucking, it was just part of the plan.

He sadly smiled.

"Hey, Izuru."

The blond didn't even try to reply. He just stared.

"Do you still love me, Gin?" Aizen asked.

He couldn't say no, or he would kill them both, but if said yes, he was going to break his Izuru's heart...

"I love ya," he said, his cyan eyes never leaving Kira's. Maybe the words could reach him.

"Are those words to me or to Kira-Fukutaichou?"

Astute as always. How could something like this happen? How did Aizen found out? Maybe there was still a chance to fix everything... Maybe... Gin looked down awkwardly. Something shinning caught his eye. It was a zanpakuto unsheathed, it was... Kyouka Suigetsu.

This was all an illusion! Aizen was testing him with an illusion of Izuru. Of course! Why didn't he think about this before?

Smiling he turned his head back.

"I love you, Sousuke! Since the day I met you." He turned around completely straddling the other man, and kissed him. "Don't doubt me! I belong to ya, only." He wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He didn't like to be watched, but he assumed that Ulquiorra was as fake as that Izuru.

Aizen returned his kiss with the same passion, almost possessively. Licking from mouth to cheek, to jaw, to neck. The brunet's hands squeezing his legs and ass. Gin was getting hard; this was the type of sex he was expecting from the beginning. Hot, lustful, and definitely pleasurable.

Their lips met again as he started grinding his cock against Aizen's big one. Throaty moans leaving his mouth, desiring for more. He ignored everything in that room but Aizen. He loved the feeling of that man's skin against him. He wasn't as soft as lil' Izuru, but it was still pretty good.

Aizen leaned forward not interrupting their kisses and finally grabbed the lube that was in the nightstand. He poured some, directly into his member and Gin gladly started to rubbing all over it. He was going to make Aizen happy, and was going to make Aizen believe in his _love._

The older man watched the whole thing with hunger in his eyes. He grabbed again the small dagger, and Gin looked confused for a moment. Was he planning to hurt him again? Then Aizen threw it to Ulquiorra who grabbed it gracefully with no effort.

"Make him watch, if he doesn't then take one eye off," Aizen said. Only then, Gin noticed that Izuru's illusion was looking away. Ulquiorra grabbed by his hair and made him look forward to the bed. The Espada Cuatro pointed the dagger to the blond's face, threatening him. Izuru's eyes moved to the bed and once again Gin felt a strange sorrow inside him. Izuru was crying silently. Those sad eyes looked so realistic that if he didn't know about Aizen's zanpakuto on the floor he would believe they were real. He looked away, if continued to watch the blond like that he would go limp. Sure in the past, he may have made the blond cry, because a naked Izuru crying was the hottest thing ever, but not like that. Not this type of crying...

He looked at the man in his arms. Aizen was surely a great looking guy. He had handsome features and a hot body. It wasn't hard to be attracted to him. It was a different kind of beauty from Izuru, but not less attractive.

Propping himself up, he directed Aizen's big member to his entrance. He was still sore, really sore. But he didn't care anymore. He was horny and all he wanted was to have wonderful sex.

Aizen entered Gin, once again, pushing him down. Gin moaned and pulled Aizen for a kiss. The older man gave a few more thrusts until his cock slid easily. They both moved at the same time, Gin moaned every time he felt that hard muscle deep inside of him. Its thickness so great he felt completely full.

"Tell me Gin," Aizen said in his ear and nibbled it. "Do you like when I fuck you?"

"Yeah, I want more."

Aizen smirked. This is what he wanted to hear; Gin was right before, Aizen was just needy today. He thrusted deeper and harder, the sounds of skin slapping echoing in the room. Gin's moans and gasps the only other sounds.

Aizen laid Gin down and held his legs up as his moved in a faster pace. This angle was so much better, Aizen could hit wherever he wanted, and oh God, how merciful this man was in bed! Never missing the target.

Gin's eyes moved to the side, to a still crying Izuru who was looking but didn't seem like he was concentrated, his eyes looked dead. Aizen caught him watching, and leaned kissing Gin's neck.

"Is this better than when you had sex with Kira-Fukutaichou?" the man asked also looking at the blond.

No.

"Yeah, much better," Gin replied smiling at Aizen.

With Izuru there's more than just physical contact. There is ... love.

"He was just a cute lil' toy. Ya're a real man." Lies. All lies. Sex with Aizen was great, but with Izuru it was the best. Izuru was honest and didn't play with him.

'Like ya play with me'

But these words striked the older man, and he liked what he heard. Smirking he kissed Gin deeply, thrusting harder.

The taste, the sounds, the smell, everything was delightful, everything was perfect. A perfect lie. Gin wondered if it was the illusion that was making things look so perfect. Sex was good, but never this good. He fully closed his eyes, concentrated in that amazing feeling waving inside his body.

"Touch yourself," Aizen _ordered._ Gin did what he was told. His hand reached his leaking member and started to pump it fastly. The sensation inside him was too good, he needed completion soon. His breathing became impossibly faster, his voice was out of control. As he sped up he could feel every cell of his body screaming for more. Aizen was ruthless, never stopping, always adding more speed or grip. His own hand stroke his cock at the same time as Aizen's thrusts. It felt so good, he wasn't able to breathe.

Cyan eyes opened when Gin listened a small moan coming from Aizen. The older man was slightly flushed, loose hair locks moving. The sight of the self-proclaimed god being so wild was enough for Gin to climax, cumming over his hand and the other's stomach.

Aizen pulled out and knelt in the bed. He grabbed Gin's head roughly and made him clean the mess in his stomach. Gin happily licked it clean, and Aizen shoved his cock to his face.

"Finish me."

Gin sucked with the best of his abilities. Tongue, deep throating, everything that would take the other man to heaven. And soon, it did; Aizen ejaculated to his mouth and chin.

"Swallow."

Gin complied. Licking his lips and wiping his chin with his fingers, licking them clean afterwards.

Indeed, in his two little worlds, sex was always great. Bottoming for Aizen, topping Izuru, he would be so happy if he could have both. Although, Aizen was only good for sex... Maybe he would let one day Izuru fuck him, though he doubted his little blond would want it. Bottoming was better than topping after all, at least Izuru seemed the type to think so...

Aizen got up and dressed his night yukata; Gin also got up but stared at the unsheathed zanpakuto by the bed. Smiling he knelt to grab it. It was time to end this illusion. He touched the blade and smirked to himself - no one was going to ruin his plans.

_But they were already ruined._

Gin's smile faded away as he noticed the illusion didn't fade away.

Izuru was still there with Ulquiorra pointing the small dagger at his face. The blue sad eyes met his, and Gin widen his eyes.

This wasn't an illusion.

This was real.

That Izuru was the _real_ Izuru.

He heard a chuckled behind him, arms wrapped around his waist. Aizen's words were strong, but his voice was still smooth.

"I'm glad you are loyal to me, Gin. I shouldn't have doubt you." The man sniffed the silver hair, and then let go, leaving. "Ulquiorra take Kira-Fukutaichou to the cell in the Espada hall."

Ulquiorra grabbed the blond, who let himself being dragged like a broken doll. The tears still visible, but no sob or any sound coming from him.

It was a bittersweet feeling. Aizen believed in his lies, but so did Izuru. And there was nothing he could do now.

In the end, Gin truly betrayed the one he loved the most, and _loved _ the one that was supposed to be betrayed. Fuck... there was no sweetness at all in this, just the bitter taste in his tongue...

**End.**

* * *

**Review if you can =) Thank you.**


End file.
